As a homeschool mom for the last 16 years, I appreciate this perspective. Yes, homeschooling has been an enormous investment of my time, energy, earning potential, and extracurriculars that aren't "extra". It has certainly been a sacrifice for our family. Yet we, and others, homeschool because the intangible rewards far outweigh the costs. Thank you for honestly sharing the price of homeschooling. It isn't easy or cheap, but the most valuable investments rarely are!
You are absolutely right! It is an investment. If I am going to account for the costs, I should also account for the gains, or the costs avoided. I have often considered the consequences of not doing what I did. Homeschooling meant my kids had the chance to make it in school, go to college, be (with luck) able to support themselves. We all know the statistics for dyslexic kids who do not get the instruction and accommodation they need. Thank you for pointing this out. The balance sheet is even more complex than I stated. An ah ha moment for me.
That is without factoring in the lack of safety net if, God forbid, something bad happened to the main earner of a family who homeschools: death, disability, becoming abusive, abandoning the marriage for whatever reason, etc. I’ve seen homeschooling and SAHMs who are in a truly bad place financially and career wise after divorce. Even women with good marriages and good husbands run this risk.
I homeschooled, not so much by choice as by the needs of my unique kids. My daughter had a great public school kindergarten teacher and an awful first grade teacher who told her she was lazy at math, which turned out to be dyscalculatia, and who had no control over a classroom being dominated by a gang of 6yr old boys who would disrupt and throw things at the teacher. My 6 year old had had enough by April of that year and asked if there was anywhere else she could go to school. In a small resort town, there was public school and a very expensive private school that was not an option. We learned of a highly recommended virtual academy and that route was the best for her.
Thankfully, for me, this was the advent of the internet and I was able to move my job to remote work. I was able to keep working and homeschooling, but, good grief, it was a 3-ring circus at times!
My boy, 5 years younger spent his early days listening in on his sister’s lessons and began to read at an early age. A neighbor came to me one day at the park by our house and said, “Your boy, (4 at the time) just told me about the Berlin Wall and he got it mostly right!” Yes, there have been many proud momma moments. I also loved relearning what they were learning, and yet feeling angry at my old public schools in Minneapolis in the 1970s that did not teach me much history and science. I loved, and dearly miss, reading with them. We would read a chapter of a fun book at lunch. So much Redwall, Wind in the Willows, all the children’s classics.
Could I have made more money out in the corporate market with my kids in school? Of course, but I think that cost would have been too high for me to stomach. Wealth is only one measure of a life and it usually comes up short when many other things are sacrificed to wealth. I wouldn’t change who my adult kids have become and the price we paid to get there. Homeschooling is definitely not for every family and I don’t openly advocate it even. But, in the right circumstances, it is the right choice. We bore that as a family decision and have accepted the trade offs happily.
I pursued homeschooling, determined to cherish my children and tailor their education to their unique needs. But in doing so, I didn’t realize the toll it was taking on my health… until it was too late. My chronic illness became an insurmountable barrier, forcing us to seek alternatives. Thankfully, we found an incredible community and a local private school that mirrors the homeschooling approach we valued, something our public schools couldn’t provide due to a lack of adequate support and resources. I know this isn’t an option for everyone. We’ve made significant sacrifices to afford it, and I wish that weren’t necessary. Every child deserves an education that meets their needs without families having to struggle to make it happen.
Such sympathy for this. It took an enormous toll on my health as well. I am an introverted, highly sensitive person myself and the immediacy and relentlessness of homeschooling was so challenging.
I feel it’s really an unspoken cost. In homeschooling circles, it’s controversial. I was opposed, challenged, as if I didn’t love my children enough by being ill. One day I’ll find my voice to talk about this chapter of my journey. Thank you for opening up the discussion. I see you.
You have no idea how much it helps to see other homeschooling moms admitting to the health cost. I have two chronic illnesses, both of which make managing my stress extremely necessary. And homeschooling is tremendously stressful for me.
I hear you, and I deeply understand. Homeschooling is a beautiful gift, but it can also be an immense burden—especially when you’re navigating chronic illness. The constant demands, the mental load, and the emotional investment can take a real toll, and I think it’s so important that we acknowledge that. You are not alone in this.
It’s okay to adjust expectations, to take breaks, and to create a homeschool rhythm that prioritizes your well-being, too. Some seasons are harder than others, and that’s not a reflection of your ability or love for your children—it’s just reality. I hope you give yourself permission to rest, to simplify, and to know that what you’re doing is enough. You’re already giving your kids something no one else can: a parent who loves them unconditionally and models resilience every day.
I myself recognize I cannot homeschool in the season I’m in but it doesn’t mean I don’t love my children any less.
The reality of this hit home for me when I needed to leave my marriage immediately on the heels of homeschooling my two dyslexic children through middle school. Your words are a validating balm.
I think one of the reasons people ridicule the cost of public school is because of the result we are getting. If you spend 15k as a homeschooler you are probably getting a better result. And then on the flip side, schools complain that we are taking money away from them when we pull our kids out. Sorry? I am not going to pay you to damage my kid.
It is true though that certain electives like music are going to cost more money if your child wants those electives as a homeschooler! 💸
No doubt there are things schools could do better (literacy is one area) but there is also tremendous variation in the quality of public schools. The folks who do pull their kids out are, more often than not, the ones who are willing to put in the enormous amount of work required to homeschool. I'm guessing most people aren't willing or able to make those sacrifices. But a great deal of what it "costs" to homeschool isn't available to spend on our children. Those are the costs not being counted in most calculations.
Thank you for writing this. I homeschool my 3 older children and also have a toddler, and you're right, it is incredibly demanding work. It is work I have found more meaning in than any other endeavor of my life. I don't want to give it up, but the economic realities threaten to either force us out of our way of life, or imperil our futures.
I homeschooled all 4 of my sons — 2 oldest all 12 years each, the younger 2 until a TX judge ordered them to school as part of a custody ruling. Best decision I ever made (to homeschool, for myself and for them. Piano lessons, Little League (4 kids=4 teams), church activities, bowling socials, park days, library events, violin lessons, etc etc etc. My kids don’t realize how good they had it! Ha!
And best of all, I have really strong relationships with my now (mostly) adult kids. Hard to put a price on that. I think as they have grown, they have better understood how good and different it was.
My son is dyslexic, so homeschooling was great for him. When he finally went to school in 11th grade, he was able to keep up with the work. In fact, after his 11th grade year, he decided he wanted to take AP 12th grade English. I discouraged this (even though I tend to promote over-achieving) because he really didn't need this high-level class, but most of his friends were taking the AP class. He had to do a bunch of work over the summer to qualify for the class, but he did it, and he took the AP class and passed! Homeschooling really worked for us. Our oldest kid only took one or two public school classes a year, and has done well. Our family took it one year at a time to decide what would work for us. And, yes, the finances can be a challenge, but our situation allowed for home education without much difficulty. We were fortunate.
I see homeschooling as so much more than providing an education for our children. I was a teacher, too. But I always intended to stay home with my children when I had them. I quit "teaching" when my first child was born. I discovered homeschooling soon after he was born, and I was hooked. I realized I could teach him myself and make sure that he had the kind of education I thought was best. I didn't have to leave all of that to chance. I was able to play with him when he was little. I could observe him and see what he was interested in and then provide resources for him to pursue those things further. I went on to have 10 kids. I always intended to be a stay-at-home mom like my mom was. I didn't even think about how much money I could have been making if I had kept teaching in public school. That was not part of the lifestyle I wanted for my family. The relationships were more important to me than the money I could have made.
I encourage families to homeschool because of the relationships they can build with their children. I tell them it doesn't have to be expensive so that they will not think they can't do it because of the cost of curriculum, etc. They can use the library and many other free or low-cost resources. That is why I tell people homeschooling is not expensive.
I don't like the way schools are run. I don't like the big classes, because of the loss of personal connection. I don't like the violence and bullying. There are many things I don't like about the public school system. I am an advocate for homeschooling, because I think it is best for children and their families.
You can have a great relationship with your kids and send them to public or private school. You can homeschool and have a terrible relationship with your kids. Your experience with homeschooling was lovely and idyllic, but that is not the case for all families. We need to stop touting the idea that one form of education is “best.” That’s like saying one specific diet is “best” for all people, no matter those persons’ specific dietary needs, preferences, allergies, preexisting conditions, etc.
I was explaining why I encourage families to homeschool. I do prefer it, but I'm not telling everybody they have to homeschool to have good relationships with their kids. I'm saying that it's a lifestyle choice, and it's worth the cost.
I homeschool. Like breastfeeding, it's only cheap if Mom's time is worth nothing.
But PLEASE politicians, do not gut public education funds to pay homeschooling families!!
As a homeschool mom for the last 16 years, I appreciate this perspective. Yes, homeschooling has been an enormous investment of my time, energy, earning potential, and extracurriculars that aren't "extra". It has certainly been a sacrifice for our family. Yet we, and others, homeschool because the intangible rewards far outweigh the costs. Thank you for honestly sharing the price of homeschooling. It isn't easy or cheap, but the most valuable investments rarely are!
You are absolutely right! It is an investment. If I am going to account for the costs, I should also account for the gains, or the costs avoided. I have often considered the consequences of not doing what I did. Homeschooling meant my kids had the chance to make it in school, go to college, be (with luck) able to support themselves. We all know the statistics for dyslexic kids who do not get the instruction and accommodation they need. Thank you for pointing this out. The balance sheet is even more complex than I stated. An ah ha moment for me.
That is without factoring in the lack of safety net if, God forbid, something bad happened to the main earner of a family who homeschools: death, disability, becoming abusive, abandoning the marriage for whatever reason, etc. I’ve seen homeschooling and SAHMs who are in a truly bad place financially and career wise after divorce. Even women with good marriages and good husbands run this risk.
I homeschooled, not so much by choice as by the needs of my unique kids. My daughter had a great public school kindergarten teacher and an awful first grade teacher who told her she was lazy at math, which turned out to be dyscalculatia, and who had no control over a classroom being dominated by a gang of 6yr old boys who would disrupt and throw things at the teacher. My 6 year old had had enough by April of that year and asked if there was anywhere else she could go to school. In a small resort town, there was public school and a very expensive private school that was not an option. We learned of a highly recommended virtual academy and that route was the best for her.
Thankfully, for me, this was the advent of the internet and I was able to move my job to remote work. I was able to keep working and homeschooling, but, good grief, it was a 3-ring circus at times!
My boy, 5 years younger spent his early days listening in on his sister’s lessons and began to read at an early age. A neighbor came to me one day at the park by our house and said, “Your boy, (4 at the time) just told me about the Berlin Wall and he got it mostly right!” Yes, there have been many proud momma moments. I also loved relearning what they were learning, and yet feeling angry at my old public schools in Minneapolis in the 1970s that did not teach me much history and science. I loved, and dearly miss, reading with them. We would read a chapter of a fun book at lunch. So much Redwall, Wind in the Willows, all the children’s classics.
Could I have made more money out in the corporate market with my kids in school? Of course, but I think that cost would have been too high for me to stomach. Wealth is only one measure of a life and it usually comes up short when many other things are sacrificed to wealth. I wouldn’t change who my adult kids have become and the price we paid to get there. Homeschooling is definitely not for every family and I don’t openly advocate it even. But, in the right circumstances, it is the right choice. We bore that as a family decision and have accepted the trade offs happily.
I pursued homeschooling, determined to cherish my children and tailor their education to their unique needs. But in doing so, I didn’t realize the toll it was taking on my health… until it was too late. My chronic illness became an insurmountable barrier, forcing us to seek alternatives. Thankfully, we found an incredible community and a local private school that mirrors the homeschooling approach we valued, something our public schools couldn’t provide due to a lack of adequate support and resources. I know this isn’t an option for everyone. We’ve made significant sacrifices to afford it, and I wish that weren’t necessary. Every child deserves an education that meets their needs without families having to struggle to make it happen.
Such sympathy for this. It took an enormous toll on my health as well. I am an introverted, highly sensitive person myself and the immediacy and relentlessness of homeschooling was so challenging.
I feel it’s really an unspoken cost. In homeschooling circles, it’s controversial. I was opposed, challenged, as if I didn’t love my children enough by being ill. One day I’ll find my voice to talk about this chapter of my journey. Thank you for opening up the discussion. I see you.
This is exactly how I am made feel when I try to bring it up.
You have no idea how much it helps to see other homeschooling moms admitting to the health cost. I have two chronic illnesses, both of which make managing my stress extremely necessary. And homeschooling is tremendously stressful for me.
I hear you, and I deeply understand. Homeschooling is a beautiful gift, but it can also be an immense burden—especially when you’re navigating chronic illness. The constant demands, the mental load, and the emotional investment can take a real toll, and I think it’s so important that we acknowledge that. You are not alone in this.
It’s okay to adjust expectations, to take breaks, and to create a homeschool rhythm that prioritizes your well-being, too. Some seasons are harder than others, and that’s not a reflection of your ability or love for your children—it’s just reality. I hope you give yourself permission to rest, to simplify, and to know that what you’re doing is enough. You’re already giving your kids something no one else can: a parent who loves them unconditionally and models resilience every day.
I myself recognize I cannot homeschool in the season I’m in but it doesn’t mean I don’t love my children any less.
Quit my job in tech last week to gear up for homeschooling. Just signed up for (the best possible) health insurance…$3k/mo 🫠
Crazy, isn't it. We live in the wonderful world of United Health Care. No words...
What about Samaritan health sharing
The reality of this hit home for me when I needed to leave my marriage immediately on the heels of homeschooling my two dyslexic children through middle school. Your words are a validating balm.
Yes, I am struggling to regain financial independence. It’s humbling and frightening.
I think one of the reasons people ridicule the cost of public school is because of the result we are getting. If you spend 15k as a homeschooler you are probably getting a better result. And then on the flip side, schools complain that we are taking money away from them when we pull our kids out. Sorry? I am not going to pay you to damage my kid.
It is true though that certain electives like music are going to cost more money if your child wants those electives as a homeschooler! 💸
No doubt there are things schools could do better (literacy is one area) but there is also tremendous variation in the quality of public schools. The folks who do pull their kids out are, more often than not, the ones who are willing to put in the enormous amount of work required to homeschool. I'm guessing most people aren't willing or able to make those sacrifices. But a great deal of what it "costs" to homeschool isn't available to spend on our children. Those are the costs not being counted in most calculations.
Yes! I homeschooled my four oldest kids through elementary school, and the costs you’re calculating are on point.
Thank you for writing this. I homeschool my 3 older children and also have a toddler, and you're right, it is incredibly demanding work. It is work I have found more meaning in than any other endeavor of my life. I don't want to give it up, but the economic realities threaten to either force us out of our way of life, or imperil our futures.
Sometimes I think about what even the short-lived expanded child tax credit would have meant for our family. These are really tough decisions.
We received that when it was a thing (for 3 kids, our fourth didn't exist yet) and it made an enormous difference.
Good insight 😌 Can i translate part of this article into Spanish with links to you and a description of your newsletter?
Sure! Thank you!
I homeschooled all 4 of my sons — 2 oldest all 12 years each, the younger 2 until a TX judge ordered them to school as part of a custody ruling. Best decision I ever made (to homeschool, for myself and for them. Piano lessons, Little League (4 kids=4 teams), church activities, bowling socials, park days, library events, violin lessons, etc etc etc. My kids don’t realize how good they had it! Ha!
And best of all, I have really strong relationships with my now (mostly) adult kids. Hard to put a price on that. I think as they have grown, they have better understood how good and different it was.
My son is dyslexic, so homeschooling was great for him. When he finally went to school in 11th grade, he was able to keep up with the work. In fact, after his 11th grade year, he decided he wanted to take AP 12th grade English. I discouraged this (even though I tend to promote over-achieving) because he really didn't need this high-level class, but most of his friends were taking the AP class. He had to do a bunch of work over the summer to qualify for the class, but he did it, and he took the AP class and passed! Homeschooling really worked for us. Our oldest kid only took one or two public school classes a year, and has done well. Our family took it one year at a time to decide what would work for us. And, yes, the finances can be a challenge, but our situation allowed for home education without much difficulty. We were fortunate.
100%
I see homeschooling as so much more than providing an education for our children. I was a teacher, too. But I always intended to stay home with my children when I had them. I quit "teaching" when my first child was born. I discovered homeschooling soon after he was born, and I was hooked. I realized I could teach him myself and make sure that he had the kind of education I thought was best. I didn't have to leave all of that to chance. I was able to play with him when he was little. I could observe him and see what he was interested in and then provide resources for him to pursue those things further. I went on to have 10 kids. I always intended to be a stay-at-home mom like my mom was. I didn't even think about how much money I could have been making if I had kept teaching in public school. That was not part of the lifestyle I wanted for my family. The relationships were more important to me than the money I could have made.
I encourage families to homeschool because of the relationships they can build with their children. I tell them it doesn't have to be expensive so that they will not think they can't do it because of the cost of curriculum, etc. They can use the library and many other free or low-cost resources. That is why I tell people homeschooling is not expensive.
I don't like the way schools are run. I don't like the big classes, because of the loss of personal connection. I don't like the violence and bullying. There are many things I don't like about the public school system. I am an advocate for homeschooling, because I think it is best for children and their families.
You can have a great relationship with your kids and send them to public or private school. You can homeschool and have a terrible relationship with your kids. Your experience with homeschooling was lovely and idyllic, but that is not the case for all families. We need to stop touting the idea that one form of education is “best.” That’s like saying one specific diet is “best” for all people, no matter those persons’ specific dietary needs, preferences, allergies, preexisting conditions, etc.
I was explaining why I encourage families to homeschool. I do prefer it, but I'm not telling everybody they have to homeschool to have good relationships with their kids. I'm saying that it's a lifestyle choice, and it's worth the cost.
It's okay to believe something is "best." And it's okay to say it.
Thank you! I agree.
You said it was “best” for people to homeschool.